Another Thanks Giving

This past Thanks Giving was the second Thanks Giving since our son Marcus passed.  Last year we had to leave.  We ended up in Lake Tahoe, California.

Brandon, Trish and Alex with Heavenly Resort behind them.

This year we wanted to do the same.  We just wanted to leave and not be a burden on our families.  We love seeing them, but it is hard to be cheery when all you can think of is you are missing a son.  We intended to be out of town, but just ended up staying at home.  No energy left in the tank.  We miss Marcus around this time of the year, because it is usually the time he is home.  Below are just a few pictures from these breaks from the past.

Marcus and Alex during Thanks Giving Break 2007.

Marcus, Audrey and Alex Thanks Giving 2005

The ever powerful, paralyzing and unpredictable powers of grief can stop you in your tracks!  One day you think all is fine and the next you're just a bowl of goo.  One day you are looking forward to a much needed break and the next day, you are waking up getting ready for work and trying to make sense of it all.

I still do not get it when people tell me on an almost daily basis that, "Everything will soon 'normalize', the hurt will still be there, but it will be somewaht manageable." 

How?  When?

I will never forget my son.  Patricia will never accept the loss of her first born.  Alex will never adjust to not having his confidante and protector.

I know people mean well.  They are trying to help us all.  Trying to ease our pain.

I appreciate it from the bottom of my heart.

I just miss my son... ALL THE TIME!

Alex on rocks atop the hill behind our condo.