Saturday, January 21, 2012

Great Sorrow

"There is no greater sorrow than to recall happiness in times of misery." -
Dante Alighieri

While watching television with my wife the quote above was shared by one of the main characters.  It really resonated with me. 

Readers of this blog may think that we are living in a state of misery.  Yes we do.  But we still try day in day out to make something of our days. 

We may be broken in spirit, but our family is not broken.  We still have a great life.  My wife and I have each other to love.  We have Alex to embody our hopes and unfortunately for him the object of our affections. 

We have our extended family so willing to extend a hand to assist and shoulder to lean on.  We have friends that are just waiting to swoop in and be there for us. 

For this I am a rich man.

Yet I will not deny that there is a pall over us.  Hearing this Dante quote tonight made me think.  When do I feel the loss of Marcus the most?  Is it when I am miserable, having a tough day at work or juts an altogether lousy day. 

The answer is the opposite. 

I miss him more when I am having a great day.  I miss him the most when my family is cheery and together.  When my good days happen is when I think of him most.  Because he should be here to share those times.  It never fails, with Alex too.  Whenever he brings his brother up is during a laugh session of some sort.  I am certain he misses sharing laughs with him. 

So I guess the reason why the quote resonated to me is because of the exact opposite.  My greatest sorrow is that in my happiest of days, I am reminded of my most sorrowful hour.

After a win at KWU in Salina KS

At WalMart in McPherson KS waaay after midnight

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