The fucking summer is here again...

Everyday is still tough!  What is it now - SEVEN years THREE months and SIXTEEN days.

I know I will never be truly happy.  I try my best at acting like I am fine.  Physically I have never been better in years.  No diabetes.  No high blood pressure.  Depression is another matter.  Thoughts run amok in my head.  Thoughts of running away, of changing everything to even suicide.  No desire to go on vacation.  No desire for anything other than to make a better life for Alex and Trish.

I am bewildered at the fact that I am actually updating this blog.