How do you answer a simple question?

If you were me, how would you answer this question?

How many kids do you have?

I always answer two.  Two boys. 

Usually the small talk dies off or changes subject.  But this instance while at the bank, the other person actually cared about my answers.  Instead of the other person just moving on, she pressed on.  How old are they?  "Twenty-six and eighteen," I reply.  She notices my Plano Wildcats shirt on and says, "I graduated from Plano.  Did they graduate from Plano?"  No I say, our youngest is a current Senior and our oldest went to Dallas Academy a private school.  She continues, "Is your oldest in school?"  "No, he graduated in 2009,"  I said. 

This went on until we got interrupted by the teller.

I just kept on talking as if both boys are still alive.  Detail after detail.  Where Marcus went to school.  What his major was.  If he played sports.  What made things worse was that the woman knows about Tabor College.  She has lived in Salina, KS and was very familiar with Tabor.  It was like a surreal bull ride that has gone way past eight seconds.  What if she ask if he is back in town?  What if she asks what he does now.  Luckily we never got to that. 

I do not handle this question right. 

Perhaps, people do not handle the answer correctly. 

If I say our oldest has passed, as I have sometimes, people start stammering and seemed to be put on the spot.  As if they have to show how sincerely caring they are for my loss.  Some just literally just want to hug or embrace you for the lack of words.  Some will try to empathize by saying, "Oh,  I have a friend that lost their kid, too."  Or some just totally ignore the statement as if not hearing my answer.

I know how Trish answers this question.  Her answer makes me smile.  Her answer makes me sad.  If it stays in the small talk, she answers as if both boys are still alive.  ALWAYS.  No blink - No hesitation - No look-aways.  But that is her.  It may be discussion for another post, but she will speak of Marcus in the present tense a lot.  A couple of our friends have approached me concerned that she may be in denial.  No she is not.  I think it takes a lot of fortitude to do what she does.  Like I said that is for another post. 

So how would you answer this question?

Our two boys at twenty-two and fourteen, for some reason wearing matching shirts, while I look-on in the background.  I think the shirts were Christmas gifts that year.